Blame The Books I Read and What Am I?

I had the most strange dreams last night. They were about sex and blood and were very real. Very sexy. Kinky. I've not done things to that degree in real life and don't know if I could or could even find someone to do it with. But the dreams were crazy.
It must be the books I've been reading.
Yes, I'm not exactly vanilla sex, I don't think I can be.
But the blood part is still pretty intense.

Maybe I just need to get laid.
I've been saving myself lately haha and I'm not even sure why.

I think most people have a wrong notion about me and I admit I do nothing to change their mind. I don't try to confuse anyone one way or the other.
Men hit on me as much as women and I do find that odd. I'm not gay and I do not have any stereotypical gay mannerisms. (I do have gay friends who I care about and I'm not opposed to whatever floats one's boat.) I AM very open minded and maybe because I do like art, I believe the face is a canvas and I do wear black shadow often. In fact, it's not like makeup any more it's like as normal as the color of my eyes. In fact, I have very pale eyecolor and skin and I think something around my eyes makes me have eyes that you can see.
And having eyes is good.
*I just thought about that ugly monster in Pan's Labyrinth, holding his eyes in his hands to see! YUK!*

I've never worn full out women makeup or wanted to be a drag queen. Or wear panties under my pants. (Though if I had a kinky girlfriend who wanted me to wear panties I probably would.)
Nothing like wrecking my car and having the ambulance driver find me in panties, yes?

I will just blame it on being...an artist and musician and reader of odd books.
Fuck it, it makes me happy.
I was born with the will to be wierd and I'm not growing out of it. Its in the blood.
The virus of creativity. Yes, that's it.

I have gotten pissed dunk and started fights but not many and that was in the past.

Sports are okay if you are there in person watching. Its kind of fun. Otherwise...I'm not a sports guy.

I probably seem aloof and even sarcastic but actually I'm uncomfortable with people sometimes and shy.

I often feel alone in a crowd.

I feel more for animals than I do for most people. Animals have an unconditional love. No motives.

Urban Decay eyeshadow in Oilslick. Its the perfect eyeshadow for any gender. The most intense black pigment.

I love my art.

I love my guitar.

I often think I'm icy, and unlovable.

Often I do not give a fuck.

My car is nice.

I can actually sew a bit. Because I have to.

I don't want children ever. I don't feel the need to breed. And the women I know do want children someday. Or now. Oh Hell No.

I don't want to get married. "Shacking up" is okay.

I don't have any tattoos. Being ink free skin is kind of novel. I love ink but I don't know...I'm liking being different.

My head is shaved on the sides. I like the way it feels nice to touch.

I'm a carnivore and I smoke occasionally. Hate me.

I have lots of really long socks. (I wish that was SEX but it's socks.) I like long striped socks and will even wear hockey garters if I have to.
I may like long socks more than I should.

Boots. Ditto. Maybe a fetish here. Serious boots, yes.

I like soup.

London was fun.

I'm Germanic and a bit of Scandinavian.

Yes, I like salmiak.

I don't know if there is a god. But I also have trouble being an Atheist. I'm not sure if a god or gods exist, but I would LIKE to believe that there is a higher power. And hopefully that the higher power gives a fuck about me in some way so I don't feel so alone in spirit. In heart.

Now I'm making myself sad.

This post went off topic quite a bit. I guess the dream made me soul search a bit about who I am. I've dreamed of blood before in an erotic way but last night there was a little bit of autovampirism. (Is that even a word?)
And it was really great.

It would seem that after this post I should go put my long socks and boots on and go play with myself but I'm not.
I will go play my guitar.

~S